Heart To Heart Fridays: A Teenager's Truth-Poem Titled "Dear Stepmom"
I envy you.
I really wish I did not feel this way.
You're a very strong and powerful person
and that's amazing.
that's not what I envy about you.
I envy the fact that my loved ones
bow down to meet every one of your needs
while I am here stuck to fend for myself.
I strongly feel like you leave me powerless
with the glares you give me from across the room.
I don't mean to be selfish
but with one swoop
you came and took the necessities that
were somewhat there for me.
I have cried and prayed many nights
that you would see that I wanted to be
a part of the family that you stole from me.
It really breaks my heart when you get chosen instead of me
when I came first.
you left me feeling like I got replaced.
My heart aches when I see my new born baby sister because
every time I look at her
all I see is that I was replaced
with someone that is shiny and brand new,
like a shiny new coin,
or a fresh crisp dollar bill.
I feel less of a person
when you criticize my appearance.
I ask and plead to God to release me
from feeling the way I do towards you.
It's just that you cut me deep
and we haven't even had a full conversation yet.
I see you,
I see the way you look at me when I bring up my Moms name,
or try to bond with my Father.
Do you envy me too?
Do you stare at me
or talk down on my mom
because you envy me/her/both?
I don't mean to come across as stuck up
but I can't help to feel that at some point
you changed my life when you came in it.
You're so powerful,
that I think that my dad would cut me off
just to make you happy.
I know that I said we don't have a relationship
But it overwhelms me
that you guys went and made a brand new family from scratch
like I wasn't good enough.
You make me go even harder
to prove that I'm worth it
that I actually deserve that life with my parents
and all of the father daughter dances
and homemade mother's day gifts that come with it.
I want to have that fairytale family that
I once imagined throughout my childhood years.
Until my day comes,
I tell myself
that I have no problem
waiting for my turn
On the sidelines
From a Teen's heart